Healthy Recipe Overload and the Story of the Jalapeno Hand Crisis

We've all seen or at least heard of "The Biggest Loser". But if you live under a rock, or are my best friend that lives in Taiwan and is completely detached from any modern day TV references every time that I mention one, the show is about a group of people who compete to lose the most amount of weight through diet and exercise. So, we are competing in a Biggest Loser challenge at work. It's optional, not sponsored by the company, lasts for 8 weeks, and begins today. I'm competing. This week's line-up? Zumba today, Boxing tomorrow, and Hip Hop on Wednesday. Bring it on, competition, because I'm gonna be bustin' a move like this grandma:

That being said, recipes for the next 8 weeks will be mainly gluten-free and healthy because I'm vowing to cut out gluten (minus a couple beers-let's be real here, people...St. Patrick's Day is coming up) and work out like a crazy person.

One thing that I love to eat is Guacamole. It's easy to make, delicious, and if you buy corn chips for dipping, you don't need to worry about gluten! Months ago, I made this guacamole recipe for the first time, and this is how the story of the Jalapeno Hand Crisis came to be.

I was making a pre-dinner appetizer. The guacamole recipe is quite easy to follow-the last thing I did was add the jalapeno. I diced it up, mixed together the ingredients, and threw it into the refrigerator to cool it.

Ten minutes later, I thought I had a paper cut on my pinkie that I had squeezed lime juice into, as it was stinging like crazy. I examined my finger and couldn't find any type of cut, but still tried to locate the source of the pain. Then, the pain traveled from my pinkie to my ring finger. And then to my middle finger. And then to my pointer finger. Before I knew it, my entire hand felt like I was holding it over an open flame. I called my dad and asked him about the jalapeno addition to the recipe. It was at this point that he laughed at me for being stupid enough to cut a jalapeno with my bare hands and told me I would have to stick it out until the pain went away. If any of you have ever made the mistake of cutting a jalapeno with your bare hands, you know that those words bring you no relief.

This is a list of items I attempted to put on my hands, or dip my hands in, in order to take away the pain:

-Butter
-Vaseline
-Nail Polish Remover
-Lemon Juice
-Sour Cream
-Lime Juice
-Hydrogen Peroxide
-Heavy Cream

The only thing that soothed the pain was leaving my hand in a glass of milk, which I proceeded to do, for the next 4 hours. It actually took THAT long for the pain to leave my hand. I read accounts where it lasted 24 hours for some people...so conclusively, WEAR GLOVES WHEN  YOU CUT JALAPENOS.

90% of you probably already knew that, but in case you have the intelligence of a pine cone when it comes to cooking with peppers like myself, don't say I didn't warn you.

What you'll need:
-3 Avocados, peeled, seeded, chopped
-1/2 White Onion, chopped finely
-1 Garlic Clove, minced
-1/2 Jalapeno, seeded, chopped finely
-1 Lime, squeezed (2 tsp)
-1/4 cup Cilantro, minced
-Salt and Pepper to taste

Mash the avocado with a fork in a medium sized bowl. Add all the other ingredients and mix. Cool and serve!